It's Daria's World, And We're Just Living in it, Asshole

http://www.observer.com/2008/gym-pets?page=0%2C0

Thank god someone finally admitted to thinking about this subject because for the longest time, I couldn't tell if I was the asshole or my yoga teacher was. In my experience during 5 years of yoga classes at two different studios (one in Philly, one in New York), how a teacher responds to you before, during, and after class is a multifaceted, multi-factor equation.

1. Are you a returning student?

If a teacher recognizes that you have been attending his or her class for a few weeks now, chances are he or she will introduce him/herself to you or ask for your name. Even if the teacher does this, it does not guarantee an in-class (or out-of-class, but more on that later) friendship. The teacher has to get a read on whether or not you are someone who wants to be assisted/stretched further/molded into certain poses. Sometimes this read is incorrect, but usually I deem myself the asshole in those situations. I tend to scowl a lot during yoga since it's hot and sweaty, and I'm sure the teacher often interprets this as a "Leave Me Alone" sign. In this case, I will fully admit to being the asshole.

2. How old are you and do you appear to be an advanced practitioner?

In my experience, teachers are more apt to befriend students who are a bit older than I am and appear to have practiced yoga for quite some time. Chances are that the teacher probably has the same skill level, or even possibly less, than an advanced yogi in his/her thirties/forties/fifties (on another note, I hope I can still do yoga when I'm 50). If this is the case, the teacher often befriends the student out of his or her own insecurity to appear on the same level.

3. Do the teacher and the student(s) in question have another job in which they are co-workers?

Seriously, I mean it. It appears that the majority of the students in one particular teacher's class actually work with her at some company whose name I have yet to ascertain. Until I seek employment at this company, I guess I'm the out-of-the-loop, unfriendly, young asshole in the back right of the studio.

It's hard enough to drag yourself to a particular class at the gym, but it's even harder to haul yourself into one where you know you won't be the teacher's pet. Given our need to please, it's nice to know that we're not always the assholes in this situation. We all know that it's nearly impossible for a mother to love all her children equally. Apparently the same goes in gym class.