Friday, February 8, 2008

"Scene" and overHeard Assholes

Dining on the UES, being the Asshole that I am, I ‘overheard’ a portion of conversation between your classic botoxed, burberried, balenciagad Mama Bear and her thirtysomething cub, who were involved in a heated debate on the virtues of marriage.

son: But look at Gene Simmons, he's not married and he and his live in have two kids…

mom: Who is Gene Simmons?

son: (annoyed) Uh, the guy from Kiss…

mom: But I know you, you don't want to be like Genes Simmons. You think you do, but you don't. Daddy and I have been married for 32 years...

son: How do you know I don't want to be like Gene Simmons?

mom: Nana and Poppy have been married for OVER 50 years...

son: And why is there such an emphasis on marriage in the first place

mom: When you find your soul mate, you'll want to settle down and get married. I'm not worried. Trust me. I’m your mother.

son: Everyone is divorced these days. And I could even adopt a country, like Brad and Angie…

mom: Check please.

This is an easy target. Soul mates are for assholes (until I find mine of course at which time they will be stripped of their asshole title.) And Brad and Angie didn’t adopt a country. They adopted like 6. Get your pop culture references right as you convince mamadukes that it’s cool to have bastard grandchildren, Asshole!

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